Today I spent several hours with my granddaughter putting the finishing touches on my Christmas decorations. I put the angel on the tree, turned on the lights and waited for their arrival. All of my presents had been wrapped but none of them were under the tree.
My eldest granddaughter Lily is almost seven. She said “Grandma, why are the gifts in the bedroom and not under the tree?” I smiled and told her, “My packages do not go under the tree until they have been dressed in pretty ribbons. Would you like to help me put the bows and ribbons on the packages?” She said, “Yes, can we do my gifts first?”
She started bringing the gifts to the table and I pulled out all the ribbons. I said you can choose the ribbons and I will teach you how I do it. She was excitedly pulling ribbons out. She wanted to cut the ribbon, tie the ribbon, curl the ribbons. We tied all the beautiful bows together around each box.
“Do you see how much prettier they are with ribbons on them?” She said, “They do look very beautiful. Look Grandma, I tied this one by myself!” My youngest granddaughter Olivia, who is almost four, wanders over and says, “Oh Grandma, these are so pretty, like you.” I said to them both, “So what do you think makes something beautiful?” Lily says, “painting your nails, wearing jewelry.” Olivia says, “When you wear a pretty dress or hair band.” I said, “actually this is all just the dressing. Like frosting on a cake. You can look pretty on the outside and not be pretty on the inside. What makes you beautiful is the kindness in your heart.” Lily said, “and love, you must love.” Yes, Lily love. That is why we celebrate Christmas and give gifts. Jesus is the ultimate gift. She said, “it’s his birthday.” Exactly.
This has been a hard year for me. I have pain all over my body that so far, we have not been able to pinpoint the issue. Years of chaos and tragedy; accidents and injuries, surgeries and falls. I feel somewhat like Paul who had a pain in his side that he never was able to remedy. I feel my life in my bones they say. I do.
Every day I wake up and dress up. I have fanatically chosen my outfits all of my life. My mother used to always say, “when in doubt dress up.” My shoes, my pants, my blouses, my jewelry, dresses, boots. Although I still wear the outfits, I found myself dressing down, being more relaxed, less dressing, less makeup, less cover up. Anything to bring a little comfort to my walk. Because the pain is seeping out.
Although my granddaughters are too young to realize I have undershot Christmas for myself this year, because getting all the boxes out of storage or the top of the closet, would leave me almost debilitated for the rest of the day or week. Christmas parties mean prepping food and gifts and going to them and hiding the pain, truly grateful for a chair to sit in so I can enjoy the laughter and gifts and family.
My daughter said when she walked in today. “The tree is so pretty Mom.” You see the dressing, the pretty packaging, is sometimes about your own image of yourself. My tree is missing my mother’s hand painted eggs, my garland. My table is missing her Lenox Church, Santa and sleigh. The kids’ room is missing their own Christmas tree. Guess who noticed. Just me.
The love and kindness we spread this season and in our daily lives is absolutely not about pretty packaging. Although my tree is beautiful even missing some of my favorite things. The love and joy of Christmas is Jesus, smiles on grandkids faces, quality time with the loved ones who just see you.
The final touch on the pretty packaging of our life, will never be about things. It will be about the love of Jesus, the healing of pain, the kindness and love in your own heart. Let your pretty packaging glow with light. Dressing up does make me feel better about myself and more presentable to others, but even though some might notice, the ones that matter do not care what you wear, or how much Christmas decor you have managed to put out, or how your presents are wrapped, they care about you.
Susanne Moore 