Are you feeling lonely? Are you desperate and vulnerable? Do you have events in your life that left you feeling weak and broken?
Listen, through a series of events, over the course of a few months in 2015, I was in that tornado. Alone, lonely, and rejected, accusations swirling around me, you need fulfillment and I did what I always had done. I ran back through the doors I had long closed.
God used my place of vulnerability and loneliness for a 4 year jaunt into the wilderness so I could come out of the grave of my past and catapult me forward into the purpose, healing and growth I needed.
In that wilderness I discovered I was making the same choices I made before I met Jesus face to face. How could this be?
Are you choosing the way through your wilderness as a hurt broken individual or are you seeking to make better, wiser, healing choices that will bring growth and refinement?
Personally, I lost my mind. I lost myself. I craved attention. I morphed into what they needed, so I could feel temporary gratification and less alone.
GOD uses our wilderness experience to open our eyes to truth.
Consider the Israelites. At the first sign of the impossible they wanted to run back to their captivity. Trusting God to open the waters ahead was harder than freedom. It seemed easier for them, to be under Pharoah’s abuse, neglect, and hard living, than the unknown future ahead. This reality is crucial for all of us who have been held captive and have the constant tug of the familiar enticements that lead us back through closed doors.
Sara Groves sings a song; Painting Pictures of Egypt and the lyrics are surreal. “I don’t want to leave here, I don’t want to stay, it feels like pinching to me, either way. The places I long for the most are the places where I’ve been, they are calling out to me, like a long-lost friend.”
I chose abuse for the fourth time in my life. I accepted it as something I deserved. I set out to heal the abuser, not myself. Fix the abuser because all they needed was Jesus, the truth would set them free. Hook, line and sinker I dove into my past.
As a strong, extremely capable swimmer, I sank. Deep into the depths of shame, fear, regret, misunderstanding. The list is huge. Then God’s hope rose again from the ashes.
God began to show me little sparkles of light through the rippling waters of pain. He brought scriptures to my mind, he showed me truth in His creation, He closed doors, He rescued me from sure death, and He helped me walk out of the dark murky waters into His glorious light.
My friends, you are never alone, God is always with you. Loneliness, desperation, weakness and brokenness are attacks of the enemy based on your past. I am pretty comfortable in my own shoes. Usually confident, outspoken and seldom lonely. I am not desperate, usually content. I am considered a very strong woman. My cracks and wounds have healed imperfectly, but, in general I am not a victim, I am a survivor and a warrior. So, the enemy attacks you, knowing if he can just resurface the old wounds maybe he can break you. He did me, only for a jaunt in the wilderness so God, could show me a few things and I could grow and heal and help others in it.
Scripture says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
“I am lonely and afflicted, relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.” Psalm 25:16-17
If you are lonely, seek God’s face. If you are desperate, God is ever present in your distress. If you feel weak, that is when God is the strongest. If you are feeling broken-hearted, God will console you in your despair. Stand up strong and be new, free, and fearless in Christ.
Lord Jesus, we bow before you in our weakness, and we walk out of the deep waters into your glorious light. I pray over those who will read this who are suffering with loneliness, feeling desperate, wanting to be held tightly, feel loved, healed. You are the Great Physician. You are our healer. You are strong when we are weak. You are the creator and lover of our soul. You are with us in the wilderness, and you are shining your light forward and upward, out of the grave of our past, our choices, our sin. Keep our eyes fixed upon you for you never fail us. If we find ourselves wandering, quickly show us the pathway to your grace. We love you and praise you in your son Jesus name, Amen.
Stay Beautiful,
Susanne
Susanne Moore 